I bet you’ve heard all the hipe about the book “Shades of Gray”. If not, I guess you’ve been traveling somewhere in the jungles of Africa. Every time I turn on the TV I hear something about this book. Every time I log into FaceBook, somebody is raving about it. Well, I was surely curious about it. When I logged into my Amazon account, I was left still wondering. The book gets only 3 stars. Apparently it is extremely poorly written. Hmmm. My hat’s off to the auther because she chose to self-publish. From what I hear, she should have paid for an editor to have a look see. I generally don’t read books with reviews like that.
Outside of the reviews and poor writing, plenty of women have rushed the book stores so to speak. While I have not been part of this mob, I read a ridiculous number of books from just about every other genre. I have taken a stand that I have not and will not read this book. I even told my book club that if we decide to read “Shades” as one of our monthly reads, I won’t read it and I won’t come to the meeting. In talking to a few friends, they have had similar reactions. We are surely in the minority.
A male friend asked me what I thought generated this visceral response for myself. My first response is that has been touted as “Mommy Porn”. Right off the bat, that did it. I do not tolerate pornography. I thought, “how would I feel if my husband developed the kind of obsession with those literary images”. How is that different than looking at pornographic images on a computer screen or in a magazine? I feel it brings those images into the marital relationship. His point was that reading that book, or sampling other things might enhance marital sex. I refer back to it brings images into the relationship that I don’t believe belong there.
I’m hearing that the women who have read it have noticed that their sex lives have been spiced up and the husbands are happy for it. Hmmm, I don’t know. Before somebody goes off on me, I should say that I am not prudish about marital sex. I think it is great and if it works for you and your spouse, all the better. My problem is that if you are watching or reading even “mommy porn”, you are bringing something into the relationship that goes beyond a few trinkets. A dear friend of mine hosted a ” lingerie party” years ago, and we purchased lotions, creams, and yes a few battery operated toys. All to be used within the marital relationship. A little spice for the variety if you will. You know what? I didn’t run out and tell people all about how and when we used it. It stayed between the two people who enjoyed it. I think that is my beef.
My sex ed talk with my teens goes something like this…”Sex is great. For married people.” The old addage that gentlemen don’t kiss and tell should apply to ladies as well. The hoopla about this book makes me feel icky. So, I will not read “Shades”. However, if you feel that is okay, by all means, read and enjoy. There. That’s my opinion. What’s yours?