Shades of …

I bet you’ve heard all the hipe about the book “Shades of Gray”. If not, I guess you’ve been traveling somewhere in the jungles of Africa. Every time I turn on the TV I hear something about this book. Every time I log into FaceBook, somebody is raving about it. Well, I was surely curious about it. When I logged into my Amazon account, I was left still wondering. The book gets only 3 stars. Apparently it is extremely poorly written. Hmmm. My hat’s off to the auther because she chose to self-publish. From what I hear, she should have paid for an editor to have a look see. I generally don’t read books with reviews like that.

Outside of the reviews and poor writing, plenty of women have rushed the book stores so to speak. While I have not been part of this mob, I read a ridiculous number of books from just about every other genre. I have taken a stand that I have not and will not read this book. I even told my book club that if we decide to read “Shades” as one of our monthly reads, I won’t read it and I won’t come to the meeting. In talking to a few friends, they have had similar reactions. We are surely in the minority.

A male friend asked me what I thought generated this visceral response for myself. My first response is that has been touted as “Mommy Porn”. Right off the bat, that did it. I do not tolerate pornography. I thought, “how would I feel if my husband developed the kind of obsession with those literary images”. How is that different than looking at pornographic images on a computer screen or in a magazine? I feel it brings those images into the marital relationship. His point was that reading that book, or sampling other things might enhance¬† marital sex. I refer back to it brings images into the relationship that I don’t believe belong there.

I’m hearing that the women who have read it have noticed that their sex lives have been spiced up and the husbands are happy for it. Hmmm, I don’t know. Before somebody goes off on me, I should say that I am not prudish about marital sex. I think it is great and if it works for you and your spouse, all the better. My problem is that if you are watching or reading even “mommy porn”, you are bringing something into the relationship that goes beyond a few trinkets. A dear friend of mine hosted a ” lingerie party” years ago, and we purchased lotions, creams, and yes a few battery operated toys. All to be used within the marital relationship. A little spice for the variety if you will. You know what? I didn’t run out and tell people all about how and when we used it. It stayed between the two people who enjoyed it. I think that is my beef.

My sex ed talk with my teens goes something like this…”Sex is great. For married people.” The old addage that gentlemen don’t kiss and tell should apply to ladies as well. The hoopla about this book makes me feel icky. So, I will not read “Shades”. However, if you feel that is okay, by all means, read and enjoy. There. That’s my opinion. What’s yours?

 

About Debbie

I have been married for 20 years to a Yankee, have two great kids, a fun and funny Southern family, and a whole bunch of friends. I try to enjoy the journey!
This entry was posted in Family, Surviving Marriage and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Shades of …

  1. K.F.C. says:

    Holy Cow! I got through all three books and enjoyed them. Poorly written, but entertaining. I agree totally with KtheGreat. Well said! I did get tired of reading the “F” word and all the repetition, poor characterization, etc. Would not have a problem reading S.G. for book club, but can see how it would definitely offend some women ,not only by it’s slaps, chains, and feathers, but it’s written horribly. Ugh!! “Mommy Porn?” Wasn’t that good.
    I’d be embarrassed for publishing such a poorly written book! But then again, the money would be nice!
    Debbie, do yourself a favor. “Don’t judge poor Anastasia until you’ve walked a mile in her shoes! ” Read it! :)

  2. KtheGreat says:

    Dear Sis, we have already discussed this matter, but I thought I would reply. I disagree that it brings pornography into marriages. It’s a book with fiction characters. How shall I put this….we loved HP and didn’t worship witches and warlocks and chant potions, people who read murder mysteries don’t run out and kill people. SoG is erotica, but barely. BDSM is minimal. It uses the F word, it has heated, steamy scenes, but my mercy…unless you read teen fiction or self-help, these topics are in A LOT of books. It opened healthy conversations between couples about topics that may not have ever been approached. Think about it…how many shows on regular TV show couples in a heavy making out session, pushed up against the wall, etc. Basically, what I am saying is people are making a big deal out of nothing. It’s a book that is poorly written that mentioned handcuffs and butts getting spanked…if you like it, do it, if you don’t, don’t. Simple.

  3. Nancy says:

    I bought the books due to all of the hype. I made it about half way through the first one before I couldn’t take it anymore. It has not story-line, the characters are one dimensional, the writing is really bad. You were right in passing this one by. It didn’t spice up my married life but it sure did help me fall asleep at night. Of course I felt the same way about the Twilight series and lots of people loved those as well. I guess I’m a book snob. :)

  4. Katybeth says:

    My ramblings: It was a fun read for middle age women. The first book overall is poorly written and often insipid but by the third book the writing has improved. It’s naughty, and fun to discuss. Adds a little spice to the over 40 life. I have found the “kids’ just don’t get it and while I would never forbid my daughter (If I had one) from reading it…I would then insist on a conversation with her about healthy relationships and fantasy. . .insuring she would not read it :-D
    I mostly think the book is simple FUN but if I was going to make it more than I think it is…I would suggest women need to talk about sex a whole lot more but in their own voice to each other..For goodness sake the “V” word has become front page news and yet I have a hard time writing the word out because I wonder about the appropriateness of doing so on your blog. . .
    It’s a middle age “Ladies” joke…If you have a 70 plus women friend in your life mention the book to her and I bet she laughs like a school girl and will make you blush with how much she knows….especially if she is a church lady.
    BTW my mom asked me what the book was about and I said I had no idea. :-D