My husband’s grandfather was a dear sweet man. He also called things just like he saw them. My Daddy would call that he “called a spade a spade”. Before we were married, somebody said that I was a “nice” girl. He agreed; but then said, “Yea, they are all nice, til you marry them”. Truer words were never spoken. It is easy to be nice when you see somebody for social “dates”. We dated long distance for about a year. It is really easy to be nice to somebody who really isn’t even part of your daily life. Life was all about weekend dates, dinners, and trips. What’s not to like, huh?Before I go off on my tangent, I want to say that my husband’s entire family welcomed me from the beginning. I love being part of their story. I am the token Southern Bell in a family of midwesterners.
Brian’s grandparents were married for nearly 60 years. Both of my grandparents celebrated 50 years of marital bliss as well. My parents and Brian’s parents are still married and have been for 46, and 47 years. I have been married for 20 years. Our family set the bar pretty high for their children and grandchildren. Divorce wasn’t an option. As far as I know, it wasn’t even spoken of. It was drilled in mine, my sister’s, and my cousins’ heads from an early age to get our education and be able to stand on our own two feet. I’m guessing a few other little girls in our country heard a similar story growing up. One unfortunate side effect of that confidence has been a divorce rate of about 50 % on our country. Don’t get me wrong. I will teach my daughter the same thing I was taught. The indoctrination of self sufficiency has already begun. So has the lesson to protect your family lesson.
Dating is fun, sometimes marriage is fun. sometimes, it ain’t. Period. Another lesson my daughter gets is to be very careful when dating. You see dating is fun, and it should lead to things. It should lead to learning about yourself and about the other person. If you find out someting about that other person or about yourself that makes you think that the dating relationship shouldn’t continue, then you should end it. Just like that. Don’t waste your time or the other person’s time. I heard a sermon recently by Andy Stanley. He said, “Be the person that the person you are looking for is looking for”. It comes back to make good decisions in your personal life. Listen for the Holy Spirit’s direction. You may like what He tells you, you may not.